Lost but making great time

In the footsteps of grizzlies

2009-06-21T22:01:00.001-07:00

If you have ever been in bear country before you know where to go and where not to go. You do not walk through densely packed new growth where the visibility is 2ft in all directions. You do not walk along riparian environments or near berry bushes. Yet, what if your job is to track grizzlies? Then you would go to where the bears are and you would seek out the environments where every ounce of your body tells you not to go. To the dark corners of the forest where the dead trees make a mazelike framework and the new growth covers up the exits. You do this not with a hope but with an expectation of seeing a fresh track, bed site, marked tree, or scat.
Bears are movers and easily cover 50km in a day. That is 50km over multiple 5-6,000m mountains and through some of the roughest country on this continent. When I started this research the large carnivore expert for BC told me, “You’re doing the impossible”. We are tracking two sub-adult male grizzlies that do not have established territories. Young males travel farther and faster than any other sex or age group in the grizzly family.
After releasing the bears they immediately proceeded to head to the tops of the nearest mountains. We have found their bed sites, seen where they dug for food, walked in their footprints. Now after a week of tracking them they are headed in opposite directions. Koda, is tracking in a near straight line to the west heading for the snow covered mountains. The other, Espen, has been chased to the north by a large black bear. Espen has now crossed 2-3 mountains and is proceeding up a ravine headed for the higher elevations.
I thought I would be doing this research in shorts but I now find myself bundled up in layers of polythermals as we ascend into and well beyond the snowline. Tomorrow, we will head out after Koda who has been circling an area for the last 2 days. We will be extremely careful to stay downwind of the site and to make frequent VHF checks to ensure that we do not walk in on our bear. At present, I can only guess as to what Koda is circling, at that high of an elevation…a carcass? Possibly…We will soon find out!
I hope this finds you all well and enjoying you summer as much as I am. Until next week, we’re here in British Columbia doing the impossible.

The Release

2009-06-21T21:58:00.001-07:00

The release was truly a rush. In the morning we tranquilized five black bears. One bear that was 100+lbs came instantly awake while we were placing it in the cage for transport. So I grabbed it by the back of its neck and forced it into the cage while one of the managers retrieved a catchpole in order to help remove its claws from the edge of the cage. I acted out of instinct but when the manager told me to just hold it until she got the catchpole; I really started to think that maybe my instinct wasn’t working in my favor.
Then the moment arrived to tranquilize the grizzlies. The head wildlife veterinarian for BC took blood samples and assisted me with gauging how tight to make the GPS collars. I was rather daunted by the responsibility placed on me as I muscled all of the bolts as tight as possible on the collars. Finally, we lifted one bear at a time and placed them inside the cages that we would use to transport them to Lillooet. It was here that the veterinarian said, “Ryan, this is your project you go in the cage first”. It may sound trivial but the honor of walking inside of the bear cage first carrying a grizzly that you will track for the next 5-6 months was an amazing feeling. I pulled the mostly sleeping bear inside the cage with me and adjusted his body to insure he was in the best position. The same procedure was repeated with the other grizzly and then the trailers were hitched to our vehicles and off we went.

Oops.

2009-05-29T00:54:00.000-07:00

We tranquilized two black bears (Cassie and Royal) today in order for us to tattoo and ear tag them. Tranquilizing them was “difficult” to put it mildly. The bears were in a cage with 15 other black bears and when we entered the enclosure they got very worked up. We broke the first needle while attempting to tranquilize Royal and after that there was no way to calm the bears down enough to successfully inject the drug. Now you might think you are brave. You may even think you’re a badass but let’s be honest you probably wouldn’t go head to head with a scared/pissed off bear. Well that is what ended up happening. We cornered the one bear and attempted to administer the drug but again without luck. At this point the bear was howling, roaring, and foaming at the mouth. So we decided to chase the bear into a smaller enclosure. My job was to open the door to the smaller enclosure as the wildlife shelter managers chased the bear inside. Yes, inside the smaller enclosure with me! The bear came running into the small enclosure and then charging right past me. This is the point where I need to be leaving the enclosure but realized that I had locked the door on my way in…A door whose locks are designed so that they cannot be opened from the inside. That’s embarrassing! Ultimately, we got both of the bears tranquilized and then released them in the backcountry. We planned to release a few this weekend but it is hunting season until the 15th and apparently bears are the prize that everyone is going after. So we’re not going to release our bears until hunting season ends.

Wild One

2009-05-29T00:44:00.000-07:00

Every morning for a week we found large grizzly tracks and fresh digging along our grizzly enclosures perimeter. I followed the tracks that circled our grizzly’s enclosure and then lead NW into the dense woods. I never saw the wild grizzly but he was there watching. We would feed in the morning and then an hour later we would come up to the enclosure to find fresh tracks and new holes dug. The situation was quite dangerous because the wild grizzly saw our two male grizzlies as intruders in his territory. The wild grizzly had also broken into a farmer’s backyard and destroyed his solar panels. In addition two other farms reported seeing fresh tracks and were afraid for their livestock. So the decision was made to trap him.

We set a large culvert trap at a slight 15 degree angle on a dark rainy night. The trap was baited with a stillborn filly, sardines, and molasses. The next morning we had ourselves a very upset male grizzly! We were really surprised that we had caught the grizzly because usually culvert traps are ineffective against grizzlies. The reason for this is because grizzlies are incredibly intelligent so you usually have to use a leg snare to trap them. We were successful because the wild grizzly was only 2.5yrs old. This is exactly the time when the mother abandons her young. So the inexperienced bear gave in to his stomach more easily than an older bear would have. We transported the bear way up into the mountains and then tranquilized him so that we could attach ear tags. When the grizzly regained consciousness we released him and watched him disappear into the boreal forest.

“Be safe and don’t do anything dangerous”

2009-05-29T00:36:00.000-07:00

That is what my mother said and my girlfriend echoed as I left the US bound for northern British Columbia. Well I’ll see if I can oblige them while still getting some good blog posts for you! Here is the plan:
I am going to take you into the backwoods of British Columbia where we will track two male grizzlies (Espen and Koda). This predator is known to be able to detect prey by smell from 18 miles away and most likely much farther. So when I say we’re going out there to track grizzly bears I mean we’re going to follow one of the most awesome predators in the new world.
Now this is not a 9-5 job and you won’t be sleeping in your bed at night. No, you are signing up for 6 months out in the sticks. So if you like blisters, inclement weather, long absences from home, no pay, untamed lands and the chance to walk in the footsteps of grizzlies then this blog will be for you. Once more onto the brink.

Awkward Turtle

2009-05-29T00:30:00.000-07:00

I saw this stunningly beautiful woman at my sisters’ basketball game last December. She was so amazing that I could not get her out of my head. So I tried to coyly ask my Dad who she was and that was all it took. My father knew her family and was only too eager to make the introduction…So much for being subtle! Now, I have faced charging bison, poachers, and stampeding elephants but at the end of that basketball game I was hiding in the bathroom for fear of an awkward parental introduction. So Jess and I never met because the next day I was leaving for Scotland.
Before I left my parents encouraged me…ok nearly forced me to add her on facebook and from that day on we talked every day for three months. Finally, the day came to fly home and meet her so I boarded a 15hr bus to London and arrived at the airport hours before my flight. Unfortunately, my plane tickets got cancelled due to a glitch on the website, Student Universe. So I ended up catching a plane to Chicago with a short detour to Greenland. Once in Chicago I took a train to the greyhound bus station and purchased tickets on the first bus heading north. This two day adventure sent me up to Wisconsin, then to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, and finally down to Traverse City as it headed back to Chicago. So after a week of travelling by plane, train, and bus I had arrived at the TC greyhound bus station. I had not showered nor brushed my teeth during the entire trip. My parents came to pick me up and Jess was with them. I was completely surprised! Now, I am sure Jess’s first impression of me could not have been great because I had not showered or brushed my teeth in 3-4 days…But as I picked up Jess and twirled her around MY first impression was, “Wow she is even more beautiful than I remembered”. After that and a quick shower we were inseparable.

Celestial fate, true love and grizzlies

2009-05-29T00:27:00.000-07:00

The wilds of northern Canada never entered my mind. I came home expecting to count weed species along a road in Colorado. The research would have been straightforward, easy, and my adviser would still have liked me. Yet, while looking for jobs I saw an ad for a position tracking grizzlies. The deadline for the application was the next day but I knew in my heart at that moment that I was British Columbia bound. So here I am now in BC working for the International Fund for Animal Welfare (IFAW), the Northern Lights Rescue Shelter, and the Canadian government as the lead researcher on the grizzly rehabilitation and release project. So I just want all of you to know that I did not go looking for another adventure. Vincent van Gogh said it best when he said, “I am not an adventurer by choice but by fate.”

Aberdeen

2008-10-19T15:35:00.000-07:00

Aberdeen is the fifth oldest university in the UK and my dorm is a testament to that. It has two toilets but neither of them has a sink. The heater in my room is broken and who knows when it will get fixed. The lovely 1920’s toilets spray water out of their pipes when they flush.*I just learned today from the man who came to fix my furnace that our building is the exact plans of an all women’s prison in Sweden. Best of all…It was scheduled to be demolished this year but the University was to short on housing and has pushed the demolition tell next year. This may sound farfetched to you but you are not living here. I somehow thought being a postgraduate meant that I was moving up in the world.

On a positive note my housing location is AMAZING! I am a five minute walk to the beach and a three minute walk to my university. My dorm is surrounded by a huge “formal garden” with vast green fields, a large river, and ancient stone pathways. It is absolutely beautiful during the day but at night it is considered one of the most dangerous areas in Aberdeen. The police posted flyers all over campus with the motto “When it’s dark don’t go through Seaton park” Catchy, uh?

Flight

2008-10-19T15:34:00.000-07:00

So here I am again…33,500 feet above the North Atlantic puddle. My mind is darting between the anguish of having to carry two 23kg bags and the thought that within a year I will hopefully be crossing this vast blue ocean by sail. This scene is becoming all too familiar. A fisticuff wages inside me as my spirit wrestles with itself. The rational side of me lashes out in protest against the reckless rambler who cannot help what he is. I feel the pangs of leaving my friends and the uncertainty that lays ahead roll through me. It is always hard for me to leave Montana as it feels so much like home. Montana has always provided me with a horse, truck, house, million acres of playground and the best of friends. I again find myself sitting on an international flight wondering why I gave up the comfort of home and the friends I’d grown to love. This last summer was far too strange to record and yet it was the best summer I have ever had. The difference was not in scenery or action but rather in the intensity of friendships.

Departure from Montana…

2008-10-19T15:30:00.001-07:00

I sat on top of Independence rock with rain spitting from the night sky. In the distance the coyotes were calling and I did my best to mimic and encourage their calls. It had been a perfect day. A day filled with laughter, pure shrieks of excitement, and more beef jerky than one would think healthy.

Ciara and I had stumbled down old wagon ruts left by the Oregon Trail, gawked at devil’s gap, and chatted incessantly about how cool this road trip was. We had crossed through Yellowstone National Park, Grand Teton National park, Red Canyon Reserve and finally onto the Oregon Trail/Pony Express route.

Sitting on top of Independence rock I realized just what this road trip was. It was my farewell to my friends and to the west. It signaled the end of a lifestyle I had embraced. No longer would I be judged by how good I could sit a bucking horse or by the slant in my hat. No longer would I ever be paid to ride a horse.

That was it?

2008-10-19T15:28:00.001-07:00

My Dad always tells me that in his business 90% of the time is spent waiting with the other 10% being shear panic, chaos, and terror. Graduating from the College of Wooster was not much different. I spent four years clawing to get out and then in a blink of an eye I was regurgitated out along with the other educationally instituted youth.

My ascent from undergraduate was typical of the College of Wooster. When called to receive my diploma the announcer said that I would be receiving my diploma in “absentia”. I found it very fitting that the college should have no clue that I had returned. Never mind the fact that I had received the highest marks on my senior thesis, acted as a senior senator, or given countless talks at the college. I just started laughing and walked up to the announcer and said “actually, I came back”.

Do I sound horribly bitter? I suppose I do but I do not mean too. My college experience though greatly affected by an incompetent administration was largely a success due to my professors. I may not have been the shining student but I have no regrets. I leave Wooster with only the memories of my lost boys, the geology professors who were my family, and my best friend who also happened to be my adviser.

What happens when you take two strangers and send them to the UK?

2008-04-04T18:15:00.001-07:00

Well in Betsy and my case we did not stop talking from the moment we met at the train station tell when we left. We talked so much that quite often Betsy had to remind me the next morning of what I had missed when I fell asleep. As for our Amazing Race aspirations, I feel that Betsy would be a fantastic competitor. She was a wizard with the maps and always ready to ask the random pedestrian which way to go. As for me?...Well assuming I even made it to the starting line I still think that I would do poorly. I am forever to content with catching the wrong bus and riding it to its conclusion (not much has change from High school).

This trip had a lot of high points, quite a few low points, and a ton of memories. Yet, all I will remember will be sipping tea on a bench across the river from Big Ben, singing karaoke with twenty beautiful Spanish girls who did not speak a word of English, and eating donuts on the dock with Betsy in northern Wales. So in closing, I found the graduate school of my dreams, explored the UK, and made a best friend.

Touring the Ohio Airports...

2008-03-13T09:40:00.000-07:00

Friday all of the flights out of Cleveland were cancelled so I spent the night at Ranch Jesus (i.e. The Christian Childrens Center). At 2am my amazing friends drove me to the Columbus airport through the worst blizzard since 1918. Again the blizzard grounded all the flights so I hung around making friends with the flight attendants and security guards. That night I crawled into the most pathetic fetal position and fell asleep. I was awakened by a wandering news crew who decided I was the one to interview. Eventually, I fell back to sleep with the hope of London dancing in my mind. The next day I waved and hugged my new friends good bye and took to the friendly skies.
The flight to London was smooth for all but for the last 30 minutes. This is the part where my pilot decided to try and land in the gale force winds that were howling through London. The ride was "bumpy"...Women started vomiting, children crying, and everyone else pretending to be brave. I tried to smile as the turbulence would drop the plane hundreds of feet in a second but truthfully I was concerned that Betsy might be touring the UK alone for the next week. As the plane was about to land we were slammed perpendicular to the runway by a gust of wind. This is apparently not an advisable way to land a 747. The pilot gunned it and we went roaring to 30,000 feet. So now I was headed to Amsterdam! When the plane landed in Amsterdam everyone clapped and I quickly renounced all the previous promises I had made with god. So 24 hours in Amsterdam, what to do?...What is a college guy to do in such a boring place like that? Well, I decided I wouldstrectch my legs a little by window shopping in downtown Amsterdam all night. I made lots of friends!One of them was kind enough to even get Betsy and I first class train tickets!!!
The next morning I groggily made my way to the airport. I recounted my depressing story with the flight attendants and talked with the pilots before we took off. When we finally landed the pilot announced over the PA a very warm welcome to Mr. Barnett. I strode off the plane shaking all the flight attendants hands and grinning ear to ear.
I met Betsy at the Waterloo train station. It is quite amazing that she was even there waiting for me. Betsy had run all over London trying to meet up with me only to learn that another flight had been cancelled. So our meeting at the Waterloo station was a rather joyous occasion. I do not think either of us could have been any happier about finally meeting up!
The race to Aberystwyth was on! The first class train tickets were amazing! I enjoyed salmon and tea while Betsy ate a large egg and ham sandwich and a cup of stiff black coffee. The train ride through Wales was absolutely beautiful. The rolling green hills, the white flocks of sheep, and the crumbling churchs all made for an amazing experience.
The city of Aberystwth was breathtaking. I cannot imagine a more beautiful coastal town. The brightly colored row houses clustered around the marina and ancient castle ruins was something meant for a postcard picture. Betsy and I walked the entire town through all the obscure alleys, up and down the rugged beach, and around all the old churches. I really cannot think of a more charming city.

***Alright time is up so until later!

Amazing Race: Cirque de’ UK

2008-03-07T00:19:00.000-08:00

The newest contestants in the Amazing Race, Betsy and Ryan, will be competing against the clock to visit four universities in two weeks. In order to make this more challenging our team will be forced to travel to the distal ends of the UK. They will start in London by visiting the famed London School Arts. Then they must travel five hours by train to Wales. Their destination is the quaint coastal town of Aberystwyth. Here they will explore the numerous castles and sip ridiculously expensive coffee while gazing out across the Atlantic. After meeting their objective they then will return by train to London and onto the University of Essex in order to meet with the chair of the Marine Biology department. Here Ryan will spend three days touring the University while wearing his bright red Jacques Coustea cap speedo in order to truly experience life as a marine biologist. Finally, they will be heading to Scotland to visit the renowned University of Aberdeen. They will most likely reenact Braveheart a few thousand times and Ryan will try to have a rock throwing contest with Betsy. Their final challenge will be to catch a glimpse of the Lochness Monster and if the temperature is equal to their courage then skinny dipping with the monster should be in order.

Ryan "Wait the UK is more than one country?" Barnett

Betsy "I don't need no stinking passport" Clifton

West as Sundance and east as Ryan

2007-08-13T16:05:00.000-07:00

I have uploaded as many photos as possible in an attempt to hide my lackadaisical attitude towards posting. The blog has suffered and I am sure my readership has greatly decreased. I apologize for this lethargic post-Indo cowboy period but let us view it as a weaning time in preparation a year of doldrums. As I sit here today I realize that the only thing standing between the College of Wooster and me is another three day Greyhound bus trip. I am not ready to take off the boots, spurs, chaps, and cowboy hats. Montana is every boy’s fairytale. I unfortunately seem to be only able to experience it for a few short months at a time. This dream which is wild horses, sagebrush fields, and meteor showers is ending for now but I have a feeling I will return to it someday. So until I return I shall remember racing my horse against the cars on the highway, the pride that came with pulling horseshoes from a crazed mare, driving a thirty horse stock trailer through the canyon at 65 mph, and bonding with a horse named Strawberry Wine.

The Battle

2007-08-11T19:30:00.000-07:00

The pre-parade warm-up dance

2007-08-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

The ride home

2007-08-11T19:21:00.000-07:00

VICTORY

2007-08-11T19:16:00.000-07:00

The final charge to parade victory!

2007-08-11T19:10:00.000-07:00

It Begins!

2007-08-11T19:01:00.000-07:00

2007-08-08T12:43:00.000-07:00

The color blind cowboy

2007-08-04T12:07:00.000-07:00

2007-08-04T12:04:00.000-07:00

We found 3 Moose paddles! CRAZY!!!

2007-08-04T12:01:00.000-07:00

It's a lot harder to do then it looks

2007-08-04T11:59:00.000-07:00

Lead Wrangler Lisa Marie

2007-08-04T11:56:00.000-07:00

Who's excited to go back to college in Ohio? Not me!

2007-07-27T13:18:00.000-07:00

1-800 Mom you need to come to Montana

2007-07-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

Strawberry Wine

2007-07-22T19:47:00.000-07:00

We trailered horses into the Specimen trail head with the hope of picking raspberries. Unfortunately, a 140 acre fire was burning three miles down the trail. The trail was closed but that did not stop me from trying to convince Sarah that the "Do not enter" signs were really just a suggestion. Some people dream of riding on white sandy beaches but I dream of racing through forest fires. Anyways, Sarah's reason and common sense eventually prevailed.
We then drove to the very next trail head where I made a bee line for the burning ridge line. This is the part where the trail ride got a little interesting. We were riding on the top of a mountain chain with shear drop offs on both sides. The trail was crumbling sand and would give way under our horses. So after pushing my luck one too many times and with Sarah on the verge of tears I did the unthinkable. I dismounted! For the first time in my life I walked my horse out of a dangerous situation. The ride was still absolutely amazing and we were able to see the forest fire.
When we returned we were invited to the bar because they were introducing a new shot called the "Barnett". The staff here have come to the wrong conclusion about me. They listen to what the guest and my co-workers say about me and my rides. They think I am some hardcore risk all kind of guy. They couldn't be more wrong but I am not complaining about the free shots named after me.

Sky Rim...It was so smoky that our eyes watered the whole time!

2007-07-22T19:39:00.000-07:00

Storm Castle

2007-07-16T12:45:00.000-07:00

Are you ready for the newest plan?

2007-07-12T17:34:00.000-07:00

I think I am going to head for Alaska and try my hand at dog sledding. I have met a couple people here who have done that and it sounds like fun. I have dinner tomorrow with a lady who trains and works with the dogs on the Iditarod. She has already given me some numbers so I am looking forward to talking with them and seeing what opportunities are available. As always that is just the plan/adventure of this month I am sure that next month I will figure something else out.

Just another wannabe cowboy

2007-07-12T17:05:00.000-07:00

Montana has a way of stealing young men. This place seems to grab at peoples hearts and not let them go. I blame the mountains, the sunsets, and the rugged freedom that each breath of crisp air affords you. I spent the day riding to the top of a mountain just so I could stare at a horizon filled with rugged snow capped peaks. We rode down trotting through meadows of aspens thick and overflowing with wildflowers. The ride ended with us racing across a wide plain covered with sweet smelling sage. I really cannot complain about about anything after a day like today.

I love Montana!

2007-07-12T16:57:00.000-07:00

2007-07-06T16:35:00.000-07:00

2007-06-27T17:56:00.000-07:00

And you thought I was an environmentalist...

2007-06-24T20:44:00.000-07:00

MONTANA (click to enlarge, so you can see Lightfoot and I on the snow)

2007-06-24T20:12:00.000-07:00

So I was supposed to live in the back of my Dads' pickup truck for the entire summer. I was also supposed to be taking a chemistry class all summer...but as John Steinbeck says, not all well laid out plans work...So here I am working for Lone Mountain Ranch in Big Sky, Montana!

I have all the horses a boy could want to ride and all the wild land to do it on. I absolutely love it here! I rejoice in the fact that I cannot come up with enough adjectives to describe this country, I delight in the gait of my Tennessee walker, and I giggle at those who say that you cannot chase a mother moose and her calf.

Home is where the food is

2007-05-20T14:06:00.000-07:00

I got back to the States on the 15^th after a rather interesting flight(s). I was supposed to have a non-stop flight from Singapore to Chicago but somehow I ended up in Hong Kong heading to Orlando. I think most people would be slightly distressed by such a change in their travel plans but I really was quite indifferent to the situation. I do not think that I would ever win the Amazing Race. In fact, they would probably end up putting posters in all the major airports looking for their “lost contestant”. In the end, I made it all the way to Cherry Land Airport after only a few delays.

Since arriving, I have been extremely busy eating 54 ounces of skittles, playing as much X-box as humanly possible with my brother, and wallowing in a warm baths. I am quite optimistic that within the next month I can gain 50 to 100 lbs. They tell me it is summer here in Traverse City but so far, the weather has been making the development of a blubber layer a rather attractive requirement.

It has been really great to see the family again. I feel like an old woman because I keep telling my siblings “just how big you have gotten”. At least I am not pinching their cheeks yet! The best aspect of being home is Moxie. She is filling the gap that Ryan2D2 left in my life. Basically, Moxie lets you play god with the TV and has every movie a guy could want.

This next year in America is going to be…rough. I know, I’ve got major thrill issues but I am not ready to go back to the safety guaranteed college life I left. I do not want to have to get use to excitement being what happens on Friday and Saturday nights. I thought this reckless phase of my life would pass but I still dream of third world conflicts, jungle firefights, and untamed lands. So until the next adventure this is Ryan M. Barnett or as my friends call me Paijo Muhammad Toyib signing off.

"Aut Viam Inveniam Aut Faciam"

My feelings exactly...This is the poster in our main office

2007-05-18T09:22:00.001-07:00

I want to complain one last time before I close this blog down. I get these e-mails from people who say "That's great what you are doing/did. I have been a vegetarian for 2yrs now!" How am I supposed to respond to that? "Ummm thanks for doing your part to save domesticated cows and chickens?" I do not get it?! How is protecting endangered species and the rain forest at all related with peoples eating habits?

I just want everyone to be clear on this, I love Animals...I love eating them. So I think the only thing weirder then vegetarians is old ladies with personified cats.

Think Rambo: First Blood...

2007-05-18T09:17:00.001-07:00

Actually as much as I would like you to think that Rambo and Ryan are synonymous that is just not true. This is a form of traditional medicine (wink wink!)...I don't get how it helps except that after they are done you're popping Tylenol like it's your job.

Random Jungle pics

2007-05-18T09:12:00.001-07:00

I was having a hardtime spearfishing so obviously the leaves helped a lot

2007-05-18T09:08:00.001-07:00

The RHINO PROTECTION UNITS

2007-05-18T09:04:00.001-07:00

Salamat Jalan Mas Toyib!

2007-05-18T09:00:00.001-07:00

This is a photo from my going away party. This was my last night with the anti-poachers of Sumatra. This was also the first party I had ever been to where the girls were not allowed to drink. In fact they had to stay in a separate room.

"Please Help..Expatriot with a home and friends..."

2007-05-05T01:07:00.000-07:00

These last few weeks I have felt like a roadside bum. I feel like I should be holding up a decaying cardboard sign with a message in fading black ink. I keep turning to random people and telling them how sad I am to leave Sumatra. I find my self buying my ticket and then spending an hour talking with the girls at Sryijawa about just how upset I am. I find myself constantly cringing with the thought of my exodus from Sumatra. My guys are throwing a big farewell party for me this Sunday. When I found out I asked my boss why? "Because all the guys want to say goodbye and some of the teams will be in the field when you leave." CRINGE... The good news is that I will be working for the RPUs when I return to America! I have had a couple meetings with the head of the RPUs in Indonesia and it's official!!! Still though, I think I will continue to wave my crumpled cardboard sign and stare off into the distances for awhile after I return.

Houston we have a problem

2007-05-05T00:55:00.000-07:00

I should be photographer! What an action shot! You have got to love the fact that you can see the "RPU" sign still through all the smoke! This the river patrol boat.

The Heart of Darkness

2007-05-05T00:43:00.000-07:00

This was a great day...we ran right into a large elephant herd. In fact we split the herd and when they went to running they ran in front and behind the patrol...Talk about an adrenaline rush!
If you are observant then you have noticed that I am wearing tennis shoes. Well I am not saying why I am wearing them but they weren't on for running away from elephants. All smiles here

P.S. The RPUs in Way Kambas have a awesome video of the elephant encounter! It is honestly really funny. I don't know if I will be able to get it but the look on my face is priceless. I am smiling but it is one of those nervous "oh Jesus" this could get us killed smiles. Anyways, I will see if I can't get it before I hop the puddle home.

P.P.S. In other news my future position with G4S Global Risks working in Kosovo as a Force Protection Specialist fell through. Apparently, I can't delay going to Kosovo until after I graduate...

I found Paijos GF in Way Kambas

2007-05-05T00:30:00.000-07:00

Andalas

2007-05-05T00:19:00.000-07:00

This is the first Rhino born in captivity. Compliments of the Cincinnati Zoo!

This is for you Loren

2007-05-04T23:51:00.000-07:00

Ok, you can say it...ya ya I know...I am quite possibly without question the most absolutely amazing brother you have ever had. Good luck on your research paper!

*SRS-Sumatran Rhino Sanctuary

RIP Ryan2D2

2007-04-30T20:57:00.000-07:00

We first met freshmen year of college. Ever since then we have been inseparable. We would stay up late at college writing papers or watching DVDs together. We travelled to Australia, Tonga, New Zealand, and Sumatra together. We have stood back to back and fought off a number of would be rubbers. Their was nothing we couldn't do...but you got sick. You lost your ability to speak and sing beautiful songs. You went from a black screen to a bright green one...Then it happened I went to you after returning from a patrol and you did not turn on...You died and you were so short. Only two weeks left in the jungle but you just didn't make it out. NOOooooooooo RYAN2D2 nooooooooooooooooooo! Good bye my laptop...Good bye my friend.

RIP Ryan2D2
2003-2007

Any of you boys see a white picket fence out here?

2007-04-28T07:58:00.000-07:00

Fishing in Krui

2007-04-28T07:52:00.000-07:00

Geologist, Mercenary, or Elephant Vet...ooooh the choices after college

2007-04-28T07:24:00.000-07:00

I have been neglecting to say that all of these Gajah photos are dedicated to a lost friend who scored a job in Korea.

Ahli

2007-04-28T07:10:00.000-07:00

What does the foremost Sumatran Rhino wallow expert do when he gets free time with a baby elephant? Well he teaches him how to wallow of course. Here i am getting dirt to throw on Paijo.

The boys from the North

2007-04-28T06:39:00.000-07:00

My guys laugh at the fact that all of my RPU shirts are 5 sizes to small...They say that my friends will think I am into an"alternative lifestyle". Hopefully, this picture will explain the issue with getting shirts that fit me.

Do you have an Elephant named after you?

2007-04-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

Meet Paijo...My 3 month old elephant. Yes he's mine! I love him, I wash him, throw dirt on him, and feed him milk from a bottle. Ok, lets be "serious" as my boys say. This 3 month old elephant was found wandering alone in the forest by a nearby village...Where is his mom? The RPUs are running patrols now through this area searching for his herd. Do you think we'll find his mother? AHHH!!!!! It makes me sooooooooo incredibly angry and depressed at the same time. What the hell is wrong with people? Guess where his ibu is??? Well I am sure she is in many pieces right now rotting. Her 4 teeth were probably ripped out to make cigarette pipes. What other bones the poachers could carry were dragged off to make ornaments. The rest was most likely left to just rot in the jungle. The vet told me that he gives this baby elephant one week to live...I leave on the 14th of May. I'm done. I'm sick of NGOs who only talk. I'm sick of fat forest rangers. I'm sick of corrupt governments. I'm sick of idiot pacifist hippies who tell me that change and protection occur with community development and time. They tell me that anti-poaching methods are to "harsh"...Ya...community development equals, more money for chainsaws, bullets, and guns....the more time we sit scratching our academic butts writing reports the more elephants, tigers, and rhinos we lose. We arrest and charge corrupt forest rangers who "rent" their weapons to poachers...what happens? the charges get dropped and they get let go. The RPUs and TPUs are the only ones out here making a difference...the other NGOs just take pictures, talk, and make stupid t-shirts for fund raising.

Maverick you're at two quarters of a mile...Call the ball

2007-04-20T04:23:00.000-07:00

Do you think anti-poachers are tough guys? Well they…cough…we are…BUT! The stereotypical picture of a gun slinging guy dressed all in black is only one dimension. You see the other 50% of our life would make any of my lil sisters giggle. The fact that when my boys are not in the field they will religiously watch Intan and Wulan (Soap Operas).These horrible shows are completely sappy and pre-teenish. Last night one of the team leaders was even crying during an episode! If you ask the boys who their favorite band is they will tell you Avril Levine, Celine Dione, or the Spice Girls. I wish I was joking! So when you think of tough anti-poachers who get shot at, held hostage, get stabbed, have their trucks torched with gas, die from malaria or fall into punji pits just remember that these were the same guys listening to the Spice Girls as they drove into the jungle.

*Don't worry I'm trying to get them to start listening more to country music but so far they're only into yelling Heeeeyyyyyaaaaa! and this they only do when something bad happens!!!

The Wild Ones

2007-04-20T03:57:00.000-07:00

This morning we had one of our usual patrol meetings. I was looking at the board to see who I was going in with tomorrow. It said Lampung Berat: 21-28 Toyib, Ayi, Nanang, P. Sudari.April 21-28?! I turned to my buddy, Toho, and just said “Mas aku tidak mau pulang…” I guess I just never thought I’d see the end of this year and now that it is here I cannot believe it. These guys are the best friends I’ve ever had and it will be rough to leave them…Don’t worry, I won’t go crying on your internet shoulder.

God I love these guys!

2007-04-18T23:16:00.000-07:00

A 14hr boat trip on a small overloaded ferry where everyone is vomiting is probably the last thing you’d want to do in Sumatra. I love it though! My guys sit on the roof of the pitching boat and just laugh and talk the whole time. Whenever we see someone getting sick we try to encourage them with mock “muntah” sounds. I love it….

White boys just wanna have fun

2007-04-18T23:07:00.000-07:00

I am really going to miss spear fishing in the monsoon rains at 3am. I will miss hunting for crabs, clams, and just fishing. I miss laughing at one of my guys when he gets bit by the fish he is trying to remove from one of our nets. I miss pretending that I am being attacked by a boya or screaming anaconda. I definitely will miss pulling all the practical jokes on my guys and having them do the same to me.

Freedom Fighting in Sumatra…

2007-04-18T22:58:00.000-07:00

I’m sure they won’t notice the blue eyes and 6”1 frame. I’ll tell you guys about this picture later but for now don’t worry I haven’t join Al Qaeda!

Come to me my jungle friends!

2007-04-18T22:48:00.000-07:00

Apparently I’ve been in the jungle too long

2007-04-18T22:32:00.000-07:00

It SUCKS that I have to go back to America. There I said it. Awww I am so incredibly bummed about having to leave my home here. It’s like I have finally grasped the language, made amazing friends, feel at home in the jungle….and I have to leave it all. I guess what really is unfortunate is that when I say my goodbyes it will be goodbye for forever…These guys don’t have the internet, phone, or even an address. I am really going to miss sitting around a campfire singing, cutting dinner, and laughing about how we almost died that day. That is what is amazing about these guys. Whenever something bad happens we always manage to just laugh about it.

I’ve seen the largest species of flower Rafflesia Arnoldii and now I’ve seen the tallest Amorphophallus

2007-04-18T22:12:00.000-07:00

So there I was!

2007-03-27T22:08:00.000-07:00

You won’t believe this. I am sitting in the field station with one other WWF staff member (Kissmono) when we notice lots of busses and trucks stopping. Now, I figure it is probably just the polisi doing a normal roadblock and checking for licenses. I pay no attention until I start hearing yelling, shouting and men chanting. It is a mob! They came in 3 busses, 3 dump trucks, 2 vans, and 10+ motorcycles. They were waving these black flags that said ORB and had the usual assortment of protest banners. I just stood there watching them but Kissmono kept telling me to go. Now, I thought there were only 100+ people but man did I have tunnel vision. I have since talked with WCS and the Polhut separately who both said it was 500+ people! 500 PEOPLE!!!

What was their humble demand? They wanted the national park to be divided among the people. In other words they wanted to turn this World Heritage centre into a rice field. I am confused…Isn’t that what they’re already doing? Well all I can say is lucky for those punks that they didn’t leave the road! 250 to 1... I have had worse odds!

After it was over Kissmono and I just laughed. You know that nervous laugh when you know something else could have happened but it didn’t. I admitted that I thought we were going to have to pull a Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid move to escape that one. Anyways just another day in paradise.

The Sheriff, the Cowboy, and Rhino Rustlers

2007-03-23T03:48:00.000-07:00

The south section head (ie Sexiest Seksi Kepala) always calls me cowboy. He is the only one in all of Indonesia who calls me that. The reason for this nickname is that I showed him some old photos of me riding in Yellowstone. He then gushed out how big of a John Wayne fan he is and we set to talking about old western films.

One day he drives up and is wearing a colt .45 in a western style quick draw hip holster. This leather holster even has little slots to slid extra bullets in! Well, I lost it! I just could not stop laughing!!! I put on my thickest accent and said “Howdy Sheriff!” Now, I don’t know where in Sumatra he got this western holster but it was hysterical. He drove my team and I into the forest near Wei Cenguk and as we hopped out of the truck bed I told him “We’re much obliged” and then turned to my guys and said “boys we’re burn daylight!” What are the chances that the only two wannabe cowboys in all of Indonesia would meet up? Sumatra is a little different from what Zane Grey talks about but as my boss told me when I first got here “KA is like the wild west”.

But I’ll try to carry off a little darkness on my back…until things are brighter I’m the man in black

2007-03-22T04:22:00.000-07:00

Sample site 7

2007-03-22T04:07:00.000-07:00

It's a good thing that it is soooooooooo incredibly easy to find rhino wallows! Not like being a geologist in the jungle wasn't hard enough. On the bright side I am the only person in the world who gets excited for every puddle of mud I stumble across.

Blame T.V.

2007-03-20T07:45:00.000-07:00

I obviously watched to many Clint Eastwood, Roy Roger, and John Wayne films. Well guess I am just reinforcing the stereotype about all Americans wearing cowboy hats and slinging guns. Anyways, you have got to love the fact that I am sophisticated enough to be wearing a College of Wooster geology club t-shirt.

Bule' Badak

2007-03-19T05:44:00.000-07:00

After 5 days in the forest I walked to the road and hitchhiked out on a big 18 wheeler. The truck was coming down from Medan heading to Jakarta (3-4 day trip). The two truck drivers were characters. They had raspy voices from excessive chain smoking and wiry bodies. After a 3 hr drive with them they had me seriously considering a job in the trucking industry. They were really cool guys but thought that it was crazy I had been in the forest for five days. They told me they didn’t like the forest and were afraid to go inside. This is sadly a pretty typical sentiment of most of the locals.

Anyways, the truck stopped at the WWF office. I climbed down the ladder and hopped off the truck to the astonishment of the WWF staff who were standing outside. They all started laughing because hitchhiking is not something people do here in Indonesia. Before I can even cross the road a girl drives by and waves saying “Hey Paijo!” The guys now go into hysterics! I’m cut up, beat up, dripping blood and soaking wet but god I love this job. I smile and change my tired walk to a cowboy swagger. I cross the street to the office and as I walk past the guys I say “This is just how I roll boys…just how I roll”.

Told you it was like Jurassic Park! He was 4-5ft!!!

2007-03-19T05:28:00.000-07:00

You want crazy? Uh? Oh I can give you crazy!

Over the last week three people have been killed by elephants in separate instances in Suoh. Now, all of the people who were killed were living illegally at least one kilometer inside the National Park. A lot of park rangers have been sent to this area and you would think they were going to kick these people out of the park, right? Wrong, and you would be crazy if you thought that. They go there with cannons and guns to scare the elephants away. I am not sure where the elephants are supposed to go since they’re already in the National Park. The reason they are scaring the elephants away even though they are already in a “protected” national park…A world heritage centre…Is because the elephants are…crazy. When I suggested we should use the cannons and guns to scare the people away, the forestry officials thought I was crazy. They’re probably right but I know how this story will end.

I know that within a few months these elephants will go mysteriously missing. I know that they’ll keep brushing the elephants under a rug of apathy and twisted bureaucracy. I know that one day people will forget this forest ever even had elephants. I know that most won’t care as long as they can see them in zoos. Do you think I am crazy? You might, but then you haven’t spent five days searching without success for any sign of rhinos. I just finished walking through an area which traditionally had one of the highest population densities of rhinos in the park. I saw NOTHING but pig and deer tracks! The people at the nearby WCS research center haven’t even seen a rhino footprint since 2001 and they make transects over the whole area every year! Maybe they’re crazy.

I know when I go back to America that I’ll see some Wooster hippy waving a poster with a tiger, elephant or rhino. They’ll tell me that my donation can help save the animals and the rainforest…Well I guess I’ll just be the crazy one for not believing. They’ll probably think I don’t care and they’ll be crazy to think that. So in the end you see that everyone is crazy. The elephants are crazy for protecting their land, the officials are crazy for protecting their wallets, the hippies are crazy for protecting their beliefs, and me, lord of the leaches, well I am just crazy for thinking that protecting is anything more than prolonging the procession to extinction.

*On a happier note I met with the boss of the RPUs for all in Sumatra and he told me I was doing a “Good job”. He said it three times not that I was counting but it was awful nice to hear it (especially from someone who knows the job)

***UPDATE: 1 of the 6 Elephants has “mysteriously” gone missing. It hasn’t been seen with the herd now for a week...Lets all say it together…That’s CRAZY!

Kids don’t try this at home, I’m an expert

2007-03-06T05:35:00.000-08:00

I have just returned from leading my first research expedition. The fact that I am completely in charge just makes it that much more fun. Why? Well, simply because if I want to do something stupid I can. I can also use the good name of science as my excuse for acting dangerously.
The trail we drove in on took 6+ hours of intense motocross driving. We crashed hard only three times but luckily we had helmets. It was so bad my assistant, Zelfi (Veterinarian), was singing “Another One Bites the Dust”. During a 30 minute break I decided to go exploring just off the trail. I promptly fell into quicksand up to my chest. Now, it really should be called quick-mud because that is what it was. Anyways, as I was in the jungle I was able to grab onto the nearby vegetation and liberate myself.
Our destination was amazing! It was a combination between Yellowstone NP and Lord of the Rings. There were hundreds of geysers, big mud volcanoes, bright blue lakes, and beautiful rolling hills covered with elephant grass. This place, Suoh, is technically inside the BBS NP…on paper it is but in actuality the park no longer exists here. I saw at least three different rice fields that had geysers in the middle of them! I just kept saying “Omg, this amazing…this should be a national park” of course it is or it was supposed to be.
I had hired two local guides who were friends of mine to lead us to the hot springs that the animals were using. At one we spotted 20 Long-tail Macaw on the opposite side of the river. The river is a boiling river that is fed from 10-15 hot springs. As you approach it the air even gets much hotter and steam is coming off of it. Now, I could have taken a sample from this side but that would have been too easy. There were a bunch of driftwood logs that had been tied together and pushed out into the middle of the water. So I suggested that we cross the boiling river. The local guides were very much against the idea but said that for safety they should cross first. No way! I am not going to be one of those colonial scientists sending my Egyptian labors into the tomb first.
After a lot of Hati Hati (careful!) I was halfway across this “bridge”. Unfortunately this is where the bridge broke and I dropped into the frothing water. All in the name of science! I managed to get out rather quickly and throw myself on the opposite bank. Now my guys are FREAKING out! I know that I am hurt but say I nothing and just laugh to calm them. They of course are still on the other side and have no intention of crossing now. I again assure them that I am perfectly fine and that in America I took baths that were hotter than that! I take my samples and re-cross the bridge of death. When we get back to the little village I check and find that my legs, thighs, and hands have all blistered up. The funny thing is that the palms of my hands were only red but the tops had a couple of liquid filled blisters. Luckily, I caught myself and didn’t go completely under.
In the evening the guys again indulged me by allowing us to hunt for crocodiles. The lake is filled with massive estuary crocodiles! It was awesome! I went stalking through the tall 5ft elephant grass then just sat in order to watch the crocs “slides”. We only saw one and since he was fleeing away in the water we couldn’t catch him. By “we” I mean “I” since my guys were not so keen on getting near the water. They obviously lacked the same Steve Irwin education that I have.
The next day we have to wait for a convoy to form before we can leave. This area is one of the more dangerous in Lampung. The men set roadblocks on the only road and then just wait for you with traditional knives. I had instructed my assistant that we do not stop for anything or anyone. I put on my poncho to conceal my machete and off we went. The convoy was rather slow as we had to carry each others motorcycles through places where the mud was 3ft or more deep. The last hour before we hit concrete was absolutely insane! The trail is cut into the side of a mountain with a straight drop off on one side. The bikes are all sliding on the mud and in some places we had to use ropes to pull the bikes because the trail had been washed away.
Anyways, this is awfully long winded so I will leave you with a quote from my assistant. “If you wanna feel like dying just go with Ryan”.

*The photo was taken just before I took a dip in the hot tub. Please note the steam and teh fact that its probably 30C outside! Obviously, I knew it was a bad enough idea to warrant a "last" photo for my parents. See how good of a son I am? Always thinking about my parents! Anyways, I just figure that it'd be such a waste if I never got to use this expensive insurance that I'm paying for ;)

I'm not bitter........honestly

2007-03-02T00:28:00.000-08:00

I had to go back to the talented and gifted imigrasi again. Apparently, my photo and finger prints that I got last June just needed to be updated for the next two months…You know because both have changed so much and well better get on it before its too late….Anyways! I go there in a pleasant and fun loving mood. One of the guys who interrogated me last time was there and he tried playing good cop with me this time. He asked if I had seen any elephants or rhinos lately…I pretended that I couldn’t understand what he was saying. I gave an academy award winning blank face and in my worst Indonesian I stumbled out the words “maaf, saya tidak bias bahasa Indoneisa”. Discouraged, he than sat down next to me and started reading a magazine called Assault Rifle. What a dork…I guess repetitive finger printing and passport photography just aren’t doing it for him. The grand finale came when I was charged 20 USD for my photo and new finger prints. Even if you don’t live in Sumatra that’s a lot of money for one small photo and some ink. If you were in Sumatra you’d realize that 20 USD is enough feed me for 40 days. Anyways, last time it cost me 15 USD but let’s be honest I could have it done here for less the 2 USD. I inquired why the price had increased so much since last June. No one had any answers and it was their turn for the best actor award. I paid smiled and mumbled “mungkin corupsi” and walked out.

My buddy, Echo, was so incredibly happy to be out of the office. I was still snorting off venom as he started the motorcycle. We roared out of the parking lot and proceeded to redline the 150cc bike all the way back to the office. He was showing off a bit by driving with no hands or racing other bikes through traffic. It definitely cheered my spirits and I “mostly” forgot about my friends at imicrazy!

ada makan

2007-03-01T11:00:00.000-08:00

Here are my thoughts

2007-03-01T10:44:00.000-08:00

Wearing Manpri’s (the male version of Capri’s) is not considered cool and wearing a dress is considered unusual

Dinner probably won’t be growing in my backyard or barking in yours

Staring is considered rude and touching random people’s thighs is illegal

The Muslim center probably isn’t where I’ll be going to hang-out, watch motorcycle races, and meet kids my age

Wearing camouflage or all black won’t be required and people will just think I’m weird

Checking my body every morning for leaches, ticks, and fleas will no longer be a positive OCD trait

Finally it will probably be awhile before I am sitting around the campfire with the boys talking “akan wanita manis” that we’ve left behind.

Transitional therapy for a rambling man playing the violin

2007-03-01T10:42:00.000-08:00

My parents are definitely cooler than yours. No really, they are. I just love getting both of them on the phone at the same time. They feed off each others energy and are crazy! My Dad had me crying I was laughing so hard. Apparently, Jordan is quite the speed demon doing 35mph on the highway. Anyways, it was my third time talking with them since I have been here and I was happy to relay that it was currently flooding outside and that I had just narrowly avoided being deported. Honestly, nothing fazes those two. I love it! My mom wanted to know if I had really eaten a bat and my dad wanted to know if it tasted like chicken. Now the funny thing is they are more worried about my upcoming summer in Petoskey then they ever were about my year in Sumatra. Let me put it in prospective for those who don’t know.

I am trading paradise for Petoskey, I am giving up a grass hut on the beach to live in a pickup truck on the street, I’ll no longer be running patrols and looking for elephants I will be running chem labs and searching for reactants, and instead of being someone that everyone knows and having friends where ever I go I’ll be completely unknown and totally alone. Haha, I’m a little short on friends in Michigan...ok so I don’t have any but at least I’m optimistic! No honestly, I really am and I think that is what worries the rents. I am too optimistic to the verge of being naïve about readjusting back to life in America.

Now, I must admit I have a sneaking suspicion that my father is god. Why? Well not a single person here in Sumatra said anything about my leaving. Then, I talk with my father who tells me that I need to start thinking about “returning” to America. Well now everyday I have people showing up who are either saying their goodbyes or asking me about my exodus from Sumatra. So far all of the southern patrols have come by, today the BBS south section head (Sexiest seksi kepala) came by, and tomorrow I have to say goodbye to one of the RPU teams. The seksi kepala is like a grandfather to me and he just kept saying that he knows this is not goodbye and that I will comeback. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be coming back.

So will I have a few flashbacks and start randomly yelling in Indonesian? Of course! Will I miss my boys here? Definitely! Will I always view goldfish and puppies as a possibility for dinner? Probably. Will my body be racked by the pains of adrenaline withdraw? Not if Jordan’s driving can help it! So am I that worried about Petoskey? A little…ok, a lot…but I knew that this year would end and I lived to remember each day. I swear I am sitting here with the biggest smile because I am immensely proud of myself. I have two months left here and I’ll be sucking the marrow from each day. My research expeditions are scheduled from now until May 15^th as two weeks in the jungle and two days out “resting”. So when the matahari winks one last time for me I will walk out of the jungle throw on my pack with no regrets, wave to the boys, and singing to girls:

“Oh Sumatra Jane, Oh Sumatra Jane!

Though I’d love to stay forever this is why I can’t remain

I got spurs that jingle jangle jingle

As I go ridin' merrily along

A snake in my hut, my second motorcycle crash, and the party at the military academy

Imacrazy Imigrasi vs. the American Alien

2007-03-01T10:39:00.000-08:00

It all started when I received a frantic telephone call saying I was to immediately come to the city. I knew that there most be a major problem because nothing is done immediately here. When I arrived in Bandar Lampung, I cheerfully yet hesitantly asked what was going on. The only guy at the office did not know what the issue was but said that the Polisi wanted me. Fantastic! The next morning I find out that the office had forgotten to extend my visa. So for the last month I had been a wanted man for all the wrong reasons. I then had to report to the immigration office to be “interviewed”.

I had to sit in this little cubicle while three man dressed all in black with flat top hair cuts “interviewed” me (cough…cough…interrogated me!). I am sitting in a chair while they are all standing up waving papers in my face. It started with them passionately telling me what big trouble I was in. They couldn’t speak English but every time there was a pause the leader of them would say “you…trouble” in English. Haha, oh man I was trying so hard not to lose it and just start laughing. I felt like I was in some SNL skit.

Then they wanted to know what I had been doing for the last year? Why did I move around so much? Why was I training people if I was an intern? What I was researching? Yada Yada Yada! All of these questions were asked a number of times. I should have just refused to speak Indonesian since they could not speak English but I was in a docile mood.

They then slapped all of these very official and important papers in front of me while waving my passport around like it was a fresh scalp. They handed me my deportation papers that had already been printed up with my name in bold. Then they asked me to sign it! Whoa guys…I thought we were just joking here!!!

Now the only person accompanying me, Eco, was literally shaking as he sat next to me and tried to dial the office to tell them what was happening. I was sitting next to him watching his hands shake and I realized I was also afraid. I admit that I had allowed this last theatrical performance to intimidate me. When I realized this I got upset at myself. Am I really going to allow some suits in a depilated building intimidate me? What am I afraid of? They don’t even have guns or knifes. What is the worst that can happen? I get deported…wait a sec…that would mean I’d get a hot shower, write a great blog post, and eat something besides rice and bamboo. So filled with my usual arrogance, testosterone, and nothing to lose attitude I informed them that I would not be signing any papers. They told me I had no choice that it is Indonesian law and there was nothing I could do to get around it. Ooooooooh reeeaallyy!

Apparently no one had informed them that I am Paijo Mohammad Toyib. So with an attitude directly disproportional to my bank account I requested to talk to the head “interviewers” boss in Jakarta. After a short discussion I was allowed to remain in Indonesia though my company would incur a fine. So there is your unbendable law! The next day when we came to pay the fine I brought my camera and asked to take pictures with those fine gentlemen…Unfortunately, they did not indulge me.

My precious

2007-02-19T04:51:00.001-08:00

What is true love? Well according to one of my friends it is when you have stuck with someone through thick and thin and when you are completely ready to lay down your life for them. If this is all that love requires then I truly love my laptop computer. It is close to five years old and slowly dying from the Sumatran climate. The screen no longer shows the color black and has substituted a florescent green in its place. The speakers have also long since stopped working but I still have stuck by it through thick and thin. On two occasions I have had a chance to display the sincerity of my love by willingly being prepared to forfeit my life in its defense.

On those occasions the would-be robbers (7 & 3 men respectfully) have come to my hut in the dead of night seeking my Precious. The first time was exciting/terrifying because I had only been here for a few months and could not speak Indonesian. The second time occurring a few months ago was more enjoyable as I understood what was being said. The men who came at 2am were very polite. They first had the courtesy to bang on my door before kicking it in. They even were so kind as to modestly ask only for my camera and laptop. I won’t go into the details but it is safe to say that I would have made any hobbit proud.

How many of you can top this for an unusual weekend

2007-02-19T04:44:00.000-08:00

I trained military cadets in jungle survival techniques last weekend. It all started because one of the academy’s instructors is friends with the RPUs. He invited me to come and give a “lecture” and I thought he was joking because in all honesty my jungle skills are more like Jane’s than Tarzan’s. So truly believing it was a joke I smirked and sarcastically said, “Yes, I’d love too”. The next day 3 guys show up with motorcycles and drive me to the barracks. During the entire drive I just kept thinking “You have got to be kidding me!” Well we drove in through the big gates and then the guys proceeded to give me a tour.

They had these awesome concrete towers and one had all kinds of antennas and satellite dishes on top of it. The inside of the tower was full of an assortment of all kinds of radio equipment and three different screens of radar. The rest of the compound had all kinds of fun toys. There were a couple speed boats, two boarding/landing craft, a mock half size tanker and a ropes course.

I ended up just talking/demonstrating how to build different kinds of shelters and how to follow a map without a compass or GPS. My father is either laughing or praying for these guys because he knows my propensity for getting lost. The fact is as long as I can walk in a straight line I am pretty good at getting from point A to point B. It was always the turns and having to stay on the road that would throw me off. This is the reason I can cross the jungle without a problem but going across town is a most trying endeavor. Anyways, I ended this riveting oration by giving a few words of warning “Tigers eat people, snakes kill people, elephants trample people…and everything else will most likely kill you if given the chance”.

The guys wanted me to spend the night in their barracks but I declined as I already had plans for early the next morning. I was invited and will be attending a big party that they are having next week for the anniversary of the academy.

*Update on my 4 puppies: Tikus, Babi Rambut, and Imut all "dissapeared"....ok they were eaten...only one is left and I've named him Tekut.

**Last thing...I have been illegally living in Indonesia now for over a month now. The office here forgot about extending my VISA. They obviously think I am as much of an Indonesian as I think I am. So anyways it is off to the Polisi and Imigrasi office tomorrow for an "interview" which we all know means "interrogation".

The perfect Valentines day

2007-02-19T04:40:00.000-08:00

The sun is shining and there is not a single cloud in the sky. The temperature is between 26 and 33 degrees. Perfect. You cannot help but waking up with a smile. In fact you spend the entire morning smiling and laughing with your friends just because it is the perfect day. They soon leave you to see their girlfriends or wives but before they go you loudly serenade them with “No woman no cry!” At twelve you run through a forest of coconut trees and then onto the beach. It is absolutely deserted! The white sand beach is lined with coconut trees, rugged bright green volcanic mountains seem to erupt from the blue Sumatran Sea. You run barefoot down the beach with your dogs just delighting in your inexhaustible endurance. Then you shred off your clothes and dive into the azure sea. The water feels only a few degrees cooler than the air. Perfect. After swimming in laps and exploring the reef you return to the shore. You glance around once more to make sure no one else is there. Quickly you climb up a tall coconut tree and knock off a perfectly ripe coconut. Breaking it open you stretch out on the sand and prepare to drink the cool milk. A smile creeps upon your face as you raise the coconut in the air. Then very solemnly you give a toast to all those other poor suckers out their buying chocolate and flowers!

Here is to the latitude of zero degrees

White beaches and coconut trees

Here is to the rainforest and tropical seas

Fat leaches and biting fleas

Here is to adventure wherever it might be

Wildly reckless and completely free

Later, that night you set up a fishing net between some trees and are able to catch two bats. One of them is MASSIVE we’re talking seagull size and the other one was rather small. You keep the larger one to eat and let the smaller one go free. After you fry up the bat and add a lot of salt you then decide to go and check your e-mails. The one loving woman in your life has written you the only Valentine’s letter you will receive (thanks mom!). After that you throw on Meat Loaf “I would do anything for love” and cry yourself to sleep. Haha, no not exactly but you do try to teach a few guys who stopped by to sing “I’m too sexy for my shirt”. Hysterical! You think to yourself just how much the Asian accent really lends its self so perfectly to that song. Good food, good friends, good times.

Cultural persuasion from the Caucasian Sensation.

2007-02-12T03:48:00.000-08:00

A truck is hauling through the forest. It is plastered with mud and at the crest of every hill the engine revs as the tires loose traction and send up red rooster tails of mud. Above the roar of the 4x4 the sweet sound of Johnny Cash is blaring as a group of guys join in singing “I fell into a burning ring of fire!”. The rain is pouring down and at every turn the truck fishtails wildly to the delight of all of the guys. One of them is standing with one hand on the roll cage and the other one whipping about as he lets loose heart felt heeyaas! We are the cowboys of Sumatra returning from chasing a tusker back into the rainforest.

*That's George...When I named him I was thinking George of the Jungle but my guys think I named him for George Bush!*

And what do you wanna be when you grow up?

2007-02-12T03:45:00.000-08:00

I had a conversation a week ago with a colleague of mine who happily announced that he had been offered a job making six figures directly after graduation. It is funny to put that into perspective with my life. When I broke my sandals three months ago I wouldn’t even buy a new pair because they cost a dollar and I could go barefoot for free. Then I started to think about the rest of my friends and realized that 90% of them are in medical school, law school, or graduate school. Thus they are all heading towards fine and lofty careers. That is when a fear crept over me that I would soon become the hushed talk at the dinner table. So I asked myself “What the hell are you going to do with your life?!”
I took an online career aptitude test today. It was a rather laborious process of filling in your skills, preferences, personality and likes/dislikes. I was really excited to see what kind of career options this would generate for me. The results were not what I was expecting as it seems I am only qualified to be a window shutter(s) maker, delivery truck driver, or a NSA security analyst. Rrright…Personally, I found it a little disconcerting that window shutter makers and NSA security analysts are recruiting the same skills.
It just was not what I was expecting or hoping to see. I was thinking more along the lines of filibuster, French Foreign Legionnaire, elephant mamut, Bangladesh rebel leader, mustang wrangler, Green Beret, or Australian jackaroo. I suppose though that many of these careers are not well represented by the online career test. I would love to hear if any of you guys have any suggestions! As it stands now after graduating if I can find no career than I shall just take after Baron Harden-Hickey and declare myself the king of some uninhabited island.

American Diplomacy with a D’Artagnan flair

2007-02-12T03:40:00.000-08:00

The story I am about to relay to you is one of many which I have refrained from posting on my blog for fear of exciting the parentals. I feel though that this story is sufficiently mild in order to not alarm the fears of them or my little siblings. Plus since this event has come to past (Jan.)there is no longer a reason to fret.
It was late evening as I was returning from the local market after purchasing a single tube of toothpaste and had 60c left in my pocket. When leaving the market you are faced with two choices for getting back to the field station. The first choice is to return along the only road leading in and out of KA. This option is well lit and always crowded with people sitting outside their huts. The second choice is the more expedient and direct route to the field station. This takes you through a residential and forested area where the KA “gang” lives and I have been habitually warned about them and about going this way.
Since it was dark and I was alone I figured that the latter option would be the most prudent. After walking a little ways down the trail three guys started to gather in front of me while another group of four sat watching a little ways off in the distance. To further add to the building and charming ambiance of this scene one of the guys was wearing a t-shirt with Osama Bin Laden proudly displayed on it. You are probably hoping that I was smart enough to just turn around and find a “safer” route home.
I must confess though that I am stubborn as a mule, arrogant beyond a musketeer, and madder than a straightjacket. These combined psychological faults make me believe that I am the most dangerous 150lbs of flesh in all of SE Asia. So with the Beowulf like confidence that every 22yr possess I strolled forth to meet these fine gentlemen.
They started by asking for cigarettes to which I told them I had none. Than they wanted money so I played the dumb tourist role and pretend to not understand while I kept walking. The five foot giants then thought to start shoving and pushing me while angrily demanding money. The individual standing directly in front of me yelling put his hand to my chest in order to prevent me from “peacefully” walking away. Now Mom, I tried to walk away but you know about my spatial relationship issues.
So for the next two-three minutes my usual Quaker deposition was fully lost to my Catholic upbringing. I laid a single punch into this first merry mans stomach and as he bent forward I grabbed his head in order to help it find my knee. Thus one would be highwayman was for the moment out of the game. I received a few sharp blows upon my ribs and back from the other two individuals but I think they were rather surprised by my shock and awe maneuver. I was able to capitalize on their momentary hesitation and by jumping over the first victim I gained space and picked up a stick. Now with the testosterone on overdrive, I whirled the stick around and attempted to play lacrosse with the head of the individual wearing the Osama Bin Laden t-shirt. I got one good swing before seeing the other four friends rushing forth. I decided that seven to one were not such good odds (stick or no stick). So grabbed some rocks and unleashed a volley at my pursuers before running as if a chemistry exam was on my heels. Thus ends the Crusade of Ryan the Lillyheart in the year of our lord 2007.

Welcome to my Reality TV show life.(sorry Mom and Dad...couldn't help myself)

2007-01-31T07:08:00.000-08:00

At the moment my life is a combination of Survivor and Fear Factor except without any of the perks. I am not surrounded by beautiful women in bikinis, I can’t get voted off the island if I wanted too, and there is no cash prize at the end. Still, I like to think that this is training for the real reality TV.

If my life is reality TV than this blog is definitely the Oprah Winfrey show. It somehow (from someone) keeps reuniting me with lost “family members”. I absolutely love getting e-mails that start off with “You probably don’t know me but I’m your such and such” or “You probably don’t remember me since we haven’t talked in at least five (or decade) years but I’m your such and such.” They all seem to think that now is not only the perfect time to “reconnect” but also that they must update me on every other “family member” who hasn’t bothered to talk to me.

Ok, so this is probably more like the Jerry Springer show than Oprah. I guess now I am just waiting for some “family member” from backstage to appear. They will probably tell me that they had been trapped in the middle of the desert in a 1950’s nuclear bomb shelter collecting beanie babies in order to help pay for my college tuition. Jerry will of course have the blood work on hand so as soon as I finish throwing chairs across the stage and yelling “hold me back!” I will have proof. Then I suppose we’d all (remember we’re a family now) need to head over to the Dr. Phil show. Finally, we would be back to the Oprah Winfrey show where we would tell the world just how much better our lives are now that we don’t have an “empty” space.

This last weekend was a tornado and my life goals were the trailer park

2007-01-31T06:59:00.000-08:00

I took a Canadian journalist around the park. He was without a doubt the most amazing and exciting person I have ever talked to. Primarily, he works as a war journalist and has covered everything in the Middle East from before the Russians arrived until now. We of course had the usual “traveler” banter where he discussed how to determine if an Iraqi shakedown was legitimate based on the AK-47s safety switch., what to do when you drive over a landmine, and finally how you can use peanut butter and/or matches to remove different worms from your body. I haven’t tried the peanut butter yet, but I do know that blowing cigarette smoke on the worms actually works. We also talked a lot about how he got involved in his career and just about other possible “avenues” of adventure employment (i.e. PMC). This is where my life goals and plans just got sushi’d and thrown out the window! I am starting to think that I really like “action” and questioning whether conservation has enough of it for my own life.

I accompanied him the whole time and acted as his “back-up” translator during the trip. We had a native speaker with us but many times the individual would get afraid to ask the questions that he was asking. So I must admit I got a kick out of being able to speak Indonesian! The last stop as at an illegal trader’s house and our driver would not stop the car. He insisted it was not safe and that it would be better to be nearly a block away. The best thing is the kopi guys looked pretty upset and they definitely knew me so in the end the war correspondent decided he didn’t want to get out of the car. It kinda makes me proud to think that this is just another normal day for me.

Cinta Alam

2007-01-26T07:47:00.000-08:00

When there is something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call?

2007-01-25T22:43:00.000-08:00

The kopi report (ie Gone an Instant) has received a massive amount of publicity. I was shocked to receive an e-mail from US Fish and Wildlife telling me that the report was written about in Washington Post and had aired on both the NPR and BBC! Amazing! I really am optimistic that this single report can do so much to turn around the BBS NP. The illegal kopi is just one factor, but 45% of the kopi coming out of the Lampung province is illegal. So at the very least developing a chain of custody will help to decrease that number.

I got a nice letter from WWF-US thanking me for all of the work I put in on the report. I never expected them to thank me or even for them to acknowledge me on the report. The truth is it is just nice to think that maybe something I have done here will have a long-term positive effect. I often feel that conservation is like the Titanic just after striking the iceberg. Everyone on board just thinks that there is no possible way that the ship can go down but I know there are just too many holes below the waterline. I guess I just think sometimes that the ship is already lost and no matter how much water we bail she’s still going down. This is World Heritage Center! If we can’t save this than what chance do we have at saving anything?

At the moment, I guess you could call me a secretary but I prefer International consultant! I have been busily contacting and updating as many International non-Indonesian speaking people as possible. I talked with Rainforest Alliance in Guatemala yesterday and I need to speak with them again tomorrow. We are having a large coffee expo in Bandar Lampung where all concerned parties are being invited. I have been trying to help the International NGOs and companies get all the information they need so that they may attend. I really want to be able to go to this expo but my research takes precedence over everything else. Hopefully though, I can get my schedule to fit it in because I would love to see the representatives from Rainforest Alliance, Forestrade, and Unesco again (plus to be able to meet some of the others). Haha, I guess it will be like a career fair for me!

Two days ago the guys put a photo of Ulfa on my desk. Then last night my friend, Iwan, who is the radio DJ for 99.5 plays a song for Paijo and Ulfa. I guess my guys had told him about her cause they just thought it was hysterical and kept telling me to take her to this free dangdut festival in KA. The reason they are being so insistent is because, Ulfa’s family owns a ton of durian trees. They think and repeatedly tell me that if they can get me to date her then they will get as many durians as they want. Unfortunately for them, I object to ever dating someone named “Ulfa” no matter how many durian trees they have.

The truth is I am just not really boyfriend material. I would very much like to be but the problem is I’ve tasted the freedom of galloping a horse through Yellowstone and the seclusion of a Sumatran jungle. So right now I’d rather have another horse to ride across Patagonia, an ultra-light to fly the length of Africa, a motorcycle to traverse the Himalayas, or a trimaran to circumnavigate Antarctica. Then maybe I will want a girlfriend…but at that point I'll probably just be an old sketchy man. Sorry Mom no wedding bells from me for a very long time.

Childhood fantasy right there!

2007-01-23T05:28:00.000-08:00

(Supri Yanto took this photo cause I was standing directly in front of this troop, trying to look like I had a clue how to even salute!)

Last week, I spent a day in Bandar Lampung dropping off Viola (a.k.a German scientist). In order to maximize the “high speed” internet I pulled an all nighter. My rationale was that I could sleep the next day in my hut. I ended up only being able to sleep for thirty minutes before WCS arrived asking if I would go with them and track tigers. They would be in the forest for two weeks so I had to turn them down due to my upcoming research. Next, the Polhut and RPUs show up because they are going to a Boy Scout ceremony for all of Tanggamus. It was only a two to three day event so I grabbed my bag and headed out.
It would be a lie to say that I went without preconceptions. When I was younger I use to make fun of the Boy Scouts. I thought they cared more about keeping their uniforms clean and getting patches sewn on their shirts than about actually going into the forest. So when I was invited to attend the Boy Scout ceremony, I only agreed because there were no other patrols to follow and my friends from the Polhut and RPUs were going.
When I arrived there were already close to 200 scouts setting up camp in a cleared field adjacent the BBS NP. Only the Boy Scouts go to a national park to set up camp in an open field. The scouts (boy & girls) are all between the ages of 12 and 18. There were also ten “troop” leaders who spanned from 20-30 years old.
Now, I don’t want you to think I am overly judgmental but, I was happy to see that the Scouts were obliviously setting up their tents about 2-3 ft from an elephant trail. After doing a quick survey of the area I also found fresh Sun Bear tracks (less than 1 day old) and Kucing Hutan (Cat forest…I think we call it a marble cat?). I did not bother to say anything to them about the elephant tracks because secretly, I wanted the chance to film my own episode of “When good elephants go bad”! I had been to this area location (3-5 klicks away) just last week doing another damage report for big George.
The first day, there were whistles always blowing and people scurrying around to get in formation as they practiced marching and yelling (mostly yelling). It was great! After lunch the NP southern section head came to give a talk. He is a friend of mine and I always jokingly tell him that he is “the sexiest seksi head” since his title is Seksi Kepala. His whole speech was on why the forest is so valuable and my favorite line was “Do you think Mas Toyib would be here if this wasn’t an important forest?” Well, you definitely cannot argue with that logic!
When he finished he asked if the Scouts had any questions. I think only one person asked him a question about the forest because the rest of the questions were monopolized by the girls. They wanted to know if I was married. No. Do you have a girlfriend? No. Why not? Because I live in the forest. How old are you. 22…Well you get the point; it was basically 21 questions Indo style. During lunch I met all of the Scouts and just had a lot of fun talking with them. By the end of lunch they were affectionately calling me “Odo” which is Lampungesse for “older brother”.
The evening was more drilling followed by a massive bonfire. At 12 I was exhausted and looking for a dry patch of dirt to sleep on when my friend, Asepsupri, asked me if I was going to follow them on the jungle night trek. I was already completely exhausted so of course I said yes. All of the scouts loaded up into jeeps and I hopped on the jeep with him. The whole time I was thinking that this would be a nice relaxing 30min to an hour walk. I soon realized that the jeep was taking us a long ways from the campsite. The jungle night trek lasted from 12 until 6am! I was with all of the junior leaders, who are between 18-22 years old. The drill had us setting up an observation base in the jungle and then not allowing anyone (Polhuts and senior Scout leader) to sneak up on us. After an hour the RPU and Polhut show up and rescue me from my boredom. We set out without a flashlight and start snaking our way through the jungle. Every thirty seconds or so we stop and just listen. We eventually heard three Scouts talking. Now we couldn’t tell where they were exactly so we started shaking the trees. Haha! These kids jumped to their feet and took off at a run for the road! At 5am we returned to the camp.
Now, as the Boy Scout teams would arrive from the hike we would question them and drill them on “Boy Scout things”. I could not believe how much they included me. They made no distinction between me and any of the other leaders. If I thought a team was doing a bad job I could make them do push-ups or any other form of torture. I was also able to issue them orders which I must admit was pretty cool. The greatest part was that as they would come out of the forest they would salute me, asking me for their orders, and then wait until I had saluted them back before continuing on. Ok, go ahead and judge me but what boy hasn’t dreamed of playing Laurence of Arabia?!
The second day was really interesting. It was basically a day of hazing. Each of the scouts needed twenty signatures from either the Senior leaders, Polhut, MITRA, WWF or RPUs. In order to get a signature they had to do whatever the person asked of them. Basically, they had to make fouls of themselves but everyone seemed to have a good time and just enjoy it. One of the senior leaders used this as a time to “flirt/hit on me”. She would make the scouts give me a flower, ask me a question and/or sing me a song.
The leader, Ulfa (21), from MITRA (volunteer conservation group in the BBSNP) was really nice. We had talked a lot the previous day and she was really interesting because she comes from a very rich conservative Muslim family, wears the veil, tight jeans, form fitting traditional batik shirts, and is highly educated. I think Indonesia is the only Muslim country in the world that blends modern and traditional Islamic culture so seamlessly. Anyways, the last scout to come to me, asked me “If I liked her and if I would date her”! What can you say to an offer like that? Haha, well I just tried to make a joke and told the scout to tell her that “I was currently in love and very committed to a rhino”.
That night, Ulfa and I were sitting around the fire listening to my field radio and waiting for the nightly satellite fix on George. After hearing that his current location was over 20 clicks away I prepared to sign off for the night. Before, I was able to Bapat Gambil called me. He is a friend of mine from Kota Agung and the Captain of a tanker. I talked with him for the next thirty minutes as he headed down the coast of Java enroute to Sulawesi. Eventually, the talk turned to discussing how worried he was for me that I had been here for 7 almost 8 months and not had a girlfriend. Ulfa, took this opportunity to also start teasing me. When, Bpt. Gambil heard her voice he started to tell her what a great guy I am (sure fooled him!). Then if it couldn’t get any worse he said he had to go “do something” so he left the radio transmitting the cheesiest love songs you can imagine. I lasted about a minute twenty before cutting the radio off. The rest of the night was then spent sitting around the fire with a group of Boy Scouts playing the guitar and singing traditional Indonesian country songs.
The last day they had their final inspection with the head of the national park watching. It was very formal and all of the scouts had to walk by, salute us and then shake our hands. To end the ceremony one of the RPUs was going to fire his gun in salute to the head of the park but the gun jammed. All of the Polhuts and I just lost control and started laughing. These guns are such junk that you would be lucky to get a whole clip off without jamming. So there ends my Boy Scout story.

Commander Paijo Toyib

2007-01-23T05:19:00.000-08:00

Ok so obviously breaking my own rules but her Dad wasn't there! Scandalous!

2007-01-23T04:51:00.000-08:00

I'm load'em up by the truck full...Chase where are you!

2007-01-23T04:38:00.000-08:00

Haha...I'm not saying anything!

2007-01-23T04:23:00.000-08:00

Conservation is like a relationship…the costs are high in terms of aggravation, time, and money…(Haha oh man, am I going to take some heat for that co

2007-01-18T09:08:00.000-08:00

Ok Guys,
I have updated the heck out of this blog! So I am heading back out tomorrow. My research officially commences on the 24th of January. I may be in a "city" on the 20th of Febuary for a huge Coffee conference. No guarentees!
I have never recommended anything on this blog. My first recommendation though is for the website (www.bumfuzzle.com). These guys (Ali and Pat) are fantastic! The website/blog is really informative and just fun to read. It's great to just see people out doing their own thing and not listening to the majority. Finally, they are completely down to earth and even took the time write to me. When you're done reading their site and completely convinced that a circumnavigation is in order then send me an e-mail.

A lecture from Dr. Barnett (a PhD aspirant who is still trying to graduate from college)

2007-01-18T08:11:00.000-08:00

The problem with conservation is that it is being run by biologists. They are a brood of academics with insect-like specialization. They want to save the individual animals and so create “umbrella species” from the more photogenic. I believe that “umbrella species” have more to do with funding than with protecting. I just feel that most of the research I have witnessed is pointless and wasteful.

I can tell you that there are 42 tigers (plus or minus) in the BBS NP and that there were 200 elephants counted in the park last year. I do not doubt these figures as the survey methods were sound, thorough and exhausting. One scientist even spent three weeks staring/studying multiple piles elephant poop. I can now tell you from this study what the degradation rate of elephant dung is in Sumatra’s wet and dry seasons. I also know how often an elephant poops and just how many droppings (bolle) they deposit. So now that I know all of this wonderful PhD research, please tell me how it is going to help save these highly endangered animals? Does it matter if there are 42 tigers or 80? What if an elephant takes an extra dump in the forest and no PhD is there to count it?

If you are a PhD reading this then take no offense and comfort yourself by the fact that I have not yet completed my undergraduate in geology, so what do I know! All I want to know is where are the animals, what habitat do they prefer, and what food can they eat. I need a quick presence survey to develop priority zones and then I can get on with it and start protecting them! Oh and you can get back to counting poop and taking photos.

We geologist, see the forest and realize its inherent value and worth to the earth as a whole. If you cut down the tree’s the topsoil will disappear, the rivers will flood, clog, and then cease to be. The ozone will continue to be depleted and anthropogenic global warming will keep ramping up.

It is simple, protect the land and you will protect the habitat. In protecting the habitat you will have protected the animals. I promise you that my most used Indonesian word is kenapa= why. I always ask why of others and then to myself. Why is their habitat loss? Why are their human-animal conflicts? Why do animals die?

It all starts with a single road. A road leads into the jungle. It leads to illegal logging. Logging leads to migration and the creation of illegal villages. These villages lead to forest fires from slash and burn techniques. This exacerbates habitat loss which leads to more settlement and wildlife conflicts. These conflicts lead to poaching and wholesale slaughtering of wildlife. This all leads to where we are today and to where I believe all unprotected forests are headed.

I protect a jungle of discontinuous islands of habitat with none being conducive to genetic variability and sustainability. A jungle such as this has more border area than interior. This creates an abundance of thick secondary growth which promotes a higher diversity among bird and insect species. The decreased interior area limits large mammal populations. It also effectively limits primate populations and other arboreal species as the canopy is a function of primary growth. While bird diversity and populations generally increase many interior species are out competed. There is an increase in avian infant mortality as the eggs are more exposed from the absence of a canopy layer. The advent of humans brings cats and dogs which often prey effectively on reptiles, amphibians, birds and other displaced animals.

The blocks of jungle genetically isolate the large mammals and primates. Endangered species which inhabit these forests often occur in such small numbers that they are unable to be considered viable populations. Relocation or translocation of these endangered species is an expensive and usually ineffective approach that often kills the animals in the process. Due to a lack of alternatives, resources, and skills the isolated populations usually span a few generations and than die out. Thus any population which cannot contribute to the survival of the species is called either a “lost” or “dead” group.

The genetic mobility of many bird species is also suprisingly impacted and limited as they are unable to cross from one patch of forest to the other. The area between the patches of forest is now open and offers no protection from eagles and other birds of prey. Inbreeding is common in the more “separated” patches of forest among all species.

The diversity and population growth immediately experienced in the new secondary growth slows after all the niches have been filled. The jungle will than reach more or less equilibrium and have “somewhat” stability. The expected evolution of primary re-growth is extremely stunted or non-existent by the thick shade coverage of secondary growth. As such the natural progression of the forest never occurs without outside intervention.

A fear for critically endangered species is that with a small area disease and other natural disasters tend to have a much more pronounced and devastating effect. In a country prone to natural disasters the possibility of an earthquake changing the course of a river, a prolonged dry season depleting the amount of food, or a monsoon flood are all very real conservation catastrophes.

Ok class dismissed! Next week we will discuss the immediate pros of hydro-power vs the long-term cons on health caused by the damns, stagnating water. Haha…alright well I just BS’d all that from what I have seen, experienced and learned here. Dr. Pociask please feel free to pick, slash, and tear that apart!

Moments of brillance from a naturally brillant individual

2007-01-17T23:40:00.000-08:00

1. I found a large black snake about the width of 1 1/2 broom handles. I do not know what type of snake he was, hence generic “black snake”. I thought he was dead and after tapping him a few times with my foot I was sure he was dead. I then got the brilliant idea to pick up the snake and put him into my team leader’s sleeping bag. Well as soon as I picked up the snake it was like Easter Sunday. The snake was resurrected, the heavens lit up, and I swear I saw god for a brief second in my panic to “toss” the now very much alive snake away.

2. While walking on the beach my dog decided to chase a baby water buffalo. The two of them disappeared into the forest and I kept gingerly walking along deep in Thoreau-en thought. The next thing I know my dog comes tearing out of the forest pursued by two massive and very angry momma and poppa water buffalos. In a moment of instinct my Navy Seal training takes over and I go running and diving into the ocean. The instant my head goes under the water I have a moment of clarity where the thought occurs to me “Why are they called Water Buffalo’s?” Oh god! The panic is only momentary as the beasts of burden never leave the shore. HA! What’s up! You want some of this?! Come get some!...Ok after that release of testosterone was expended by yelling at the now docile and domesticated buffalos I got out of the water and went home. *My dog today chased five buffalos today…

P.S.
I want a pair of tighty whities! Actually, if it could be a bright color such as orange or pink that would be even better. It is like a fashion fad here in Sumatra for the guys to go strutting around in their bright colored underwear. After a patrol my guys will walk around a random village in only their underwear. Ok, at first I may have been slightly weirded out and disturbed by this behavior but now I want to embrace the culture. I also figure this is my only chance in life to wear bright tight underwear and be considered cool.

Just close your eyes and tap your heels and say “there’s no place like Sumatra, there’s no place like Sumatra!”

2007-01-17T23:29:00.000-08:00

I often feel like I am in Oz, It seems that every illegal logging road is simply a yellow brick road to be followed, and that the Wizard is the forestry officer behind the desk shuffling all my papers yelling “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain I am the real wizard”. By this point it is safe to say that I have been all the main characters or I have at least seen them. I started as an innocent and confused Dorothy who wasn’t in Ohio anymore. Next, I was the Scarecrow wishing I only had a brain. I knew nothing about politics, corruption, or conservation. Then I was the Lion wishing that I had the courage to fight. At the present I think most people think I’m the Wicked Witch of the West. It may be my fault though because I might have even once yelled “I’ll get you my pretties!” It was in Indonesian so I don’t even think that counts.

I have seen my share of tin axe men who were missing hearts but never seemed to be missing oil. Flying monkeys are nothing new, though instead of grabbing me they pee and throw poop. The little people standing on the side of the road yelling at me as I pass happens every time I walk down the street. Finally, cute little Toto is a half-starved, mangy, rabies dangerous dog named Koman.

Living here is sometimes hell but it sure beats the alternative

2007-01-17T23:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, let’s talk about how I stay alive out here. I created a new rendition of the Ten Commandments. Am I going to hell for this blasphemy? Probably, but until then here’s how I prolong the inevitable.

1) Thou shall not pick up brightly colored creatures

2) Thou shall not flirt with the daughters of Islamic extremist

3) Thou shall not take public transportation…or ok well at least not ferries

4) Thou shall not be the first one chasing the bull elephant

5) Thou shall not drink/eat from illegal loggers or poachers

6) Thou shall not build driftwood rafts and float into the sea to fish

7) Thou shall not forget your malaria medicine

8) Thou shall not call other anti-poachers “lil girls” when comparing knives

9) Thou shall not walk slowly across the road

10) Thou shall not forget that Rambo was a movie and Ryan is “fragile”